Saturday, December 28, 2013

Another reason I am not native!

I know, sadness, right.  The more and more I delve into my Aboriginal heritage the more I find the less I am.  Case in point:  A 1977 study in Gastroenterology found "that 100 percent of Natives tested were lactose intolerant, which is a food intolerance to the sugar lactose that is found in milk products."

Discovering that 100% of natives from the study were lactose intolerant makes me doubt my nativeness even more.  How can this be?  I love cheese.  I can eat cheese all day all day and be FINE, I live for Wine and Cheese.  I'm not a big fan of milk alone, but it's not because it makes me feel sick, I just don't prefer it as a drink of choice.   Does this lack of intolerance make me less indian because I lack it?  Or does it make me a hardier indian because I have adapted to the Urban landscape.

Discovering this makes me even less indian than my "native" friend who shared these facts with me.  Now she is up +2 on the Indian score board because not only is she lactose intolerant, but she just had her gall bladder removed, another big time native ailment that I was unaware of.  Because as I was told "all natives are lactose intolerant", and I thought they were all just diabetics and alcoholics. 

I've looked for factual data from the CDC or other health organizations to help strengthen my nativeness against these 2 new found stats, but can't find anything.  Most things listed are the high levels of Alcoholism, teen pregnancies, Obesity, mental health, heart disease, even Tuberculosis.  So there is hope for me!  "In 2008, its incidence was still five times higher for Native Americans and Alaska Natives than for non-Hispanic whites."

Tuesday, June 11, 2013


I have been working since Friday on this ridiculous show.  I have found several ways to procrastinate.  Luckily I'm too lazy/cheap to leave the house, otherwise it could've been worst.  
I sat around in my comfy seat corner on the couch, my laptop, well, in my lap and my script opened.  I had the script with my teacher's notes in one window, and a new, clean document in another.  I worked and re-worked the opening of the play.  Maybe I've focused too much on these sentences, but it certainly doesn't feel like that to me.  
At 5:45, I got ready for class and had an epiphany.  I don't want to read this in class.  Why?  Not because of the comments that I'd get from my classmates, but more the comments from the teacher.  I am resistant to comments and questions.  They are the perfect audience, they know nothing of my world.  But by the same token, they know nothing of my world and the comments and questions only make me add more flowery bullshit prose to explain what they do not know, taking up valuable real estate in my script, forcing me to explain things, delve deeper into nonsensical facts.
6:00 begrudgingly I leave the house, prepared to call my instructor to let her know I'm not coming.
7:00 I arrive in class, the first and only one there.  I chat with the instructor on how I am done.  Done with this whole bullshit, feeling as though I have pissed away these passed 6 months and not accomplished anything at all.
My goal with this class, was to have a show ready to go.  I'm a week out from the last class, and I am no where being complete.
I hate this!!!

Monday, June 10, 2013

24 hours

In 23 1/2 hours my presentation is due.  And I am sitting here writing a blog post.  I'm doing this because I still don't want to finish this show. 

It's now 22 hours away and I've been searching online for random things which have nothing to do with my show. 

Ok....I'm gonna write my show now.  Really.

I'll let you know how this shakes out.

Sunday, March 24, 2013


I have hit the wall.  I am 76 days into class and I feel no futher ahead when I came to my first class.  I should be at class 12, but I've missed 3 classes already.  2 due to work, I can't say no to work, because we need money, I'm going to miss another class next week, again due to work, but hopefully that will be the end of it.  In those 76 days that I have supposedely been writing every day.  I have not been doing that because I  am tired of writing.  If I sit down and write more material it, it will just further drown me.  I say drown, because it's more material saying something similiar that I've said before, and just adding to log jam of material. 
I'm supposed to be performing 10 minutes of my show tonight.  I say supposed to because I just broke down.  I have been trying to put the finishing touches on just 10 minutes for the show.  I sat there most of the morning writing and re-writing the same 1 paragraph.  Did you know that 10 minutes of a show is 14 000 words.  When said like that it doesn't seem like a lot, but once you start typing and counting, it's a ton of bricks that is hanging over your head.  It's even worst when you are typing in Word, there is a little word counter in corner. 
I'm at a loss.  I don't know what to do, or how to do it.  When I signed up for the class I felt great, like I was going to get something accomplished.  yet I don't feel very accomplished and I am certainly not having any fun.  Direction is lacking and I feel alone.  Sure there are other people in class with me, but I only see them once a week (when I can make it to class) and the kinship to our mututal goal is short lived.
It's getting late.  I'm going to try and write, maybe I'll make it to the performance tonight.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Outlines and 1st Drafts

Well, last Tuesday has come and gone and so has the deadline for me to submit my 1st draft.  I have been feeling bad for not writing everyday like I should, but my constant issue of not knowing where to start the play has plagued me and stopped me from moving forward.  I have been improving every week in class, as I don't want to write more material.  Because if I do write anything else, it will  be more of the same story, of which I have enough of.  This story has been nearly 10 years in the making.  ugh!  I hate that realization.  10 years to write a self serving story.  10 years to ponder this thing I call life.  I am now the cliche that I have always dreaded becoming. 
Although, 10 years has given me an opportunity to meet wonderful people who are an integral part in me moving forward.  They are my sounding board, there to hear new ideas, or the same ones regurgitated.   My former writing partner, now my creativity partner and I meet weekly online.  She is my saviour and I cherish our chats. Everyone needs someone to work with, or at least bounce their ideas off of.
Today I've posted my project on Hollywood Fringe.  Take that!  Now I just need something to present.   March will be a month of things being read out loud and presenting material. 
In my conversation this week, I've been given some examples of one person show to check out:
Writing workshops:
Fingers crossed things will work out!

Friday, January 18, 2013

Day 3

I know I should be thinking about writing and I should just be writing.  But it's hard to do when you're used to producing projects as well.  You think, "well if I write that, then I have to do this".   So while wading around the internet, as well as my blog reader, I found this article on marketing a webseries and of course it made me think of the magic that will happen when I'm actually done writing this thing.  So, of course, I had to stop, take notes so I won't forget this in the weeks to come.
  • Website:  To give the potential audience a peek behind your process.  Does it evoke the feelings you want it to? Colour, layout? Can you find information easily?
  • Press Kit: Include a press release about your show,  as well as a synopsis and your bios and headshot. 
  • Promotional materials: The show poster, flyers with information, a handout with links where people can go to find out more about your subject.
  • Thursday, January 17, 2013

    Day 2

    Well not really day 2, but for me yes.  This writing shit is hard.  I am finding every excuse in the world to avoid it.  Today I have managed to do that by convincing myself that the blog needed a new look for this blog.  Because after all that's how what's gonna sell me tickets right?
    I have been procrastinating and not writing for over a year now.  I totally stopped writing.  Well not totally.  I just stopped finishing.  I have become my worst nightmare.  An Idea Man.  I have a million ideas.  When you tell me a story, I think of what wonderful ways that it could become a script.  But that's as far as I get.  I'm a good starter, just not a good closer. 
    It's getting late and all I've done is think up great scenarios in my head.  I should probably get them down on paper.
 to write.

    Wednesday, January 16, 2013

    Week 2

    Welcome to "There is no I in Indian" a new play by Jennifer Bobiwash. 
    Well, I survived my first night of class.  Collecting my pile of notes and scraps of paper that I have written ideas and thoughts on, made me feel overwhelmed.  This story that I have been threatening to write for years now will finally see the light of day.   I have signed up for a one-person show class, whose goal it is to actually have a finished product at the end of the six months.   But walking into class last night, I felt nothing.  I should have felt overwhelmed with the prospect of the task ahead, but instead I felt indifferent.  Students filed in with their work for this week.  I had nothing.  I had read that I was supposed to have three pages written, but I wasn't about to sit down and write something when I had no idea on which direction I was heading.  Instead I improved for 30 minutes on what I was feeling this week.  It was an enlightening experience, considering no in class had heard my stuff before.  Each found it compelling and wanted to know more.  The teacher then asked if I had my music ready.  My music?  Whaa???  Sure.  I'm sure I have something on my computer.  The piece of music was supposed to be the sound of your play.  I know what it should sound like, but that's not what I want it to feel.  It's a very specific piece of writing, and the music is thus, very specific.  But as I stood on stage "feeling" the music, I felt nothing.  I lied and said what it should be feeling in an attempt for  me to come to a decision on what the heck I am writing about. 
    I left class with a vague notion on how to continue.  JUST WRITE.  We'll figure it out.  Ok, but in three weeks, I need a first draft. 
    Things I did today:
    • wrote in my journal
    • started/continued this blog in preparation for the future of the play
    So with this in mind, I have to journal everyday. 
    I guess I'll be doing a lot of writing!