I hate to leave the house. It is such a chore. You think it would be an easy task. I live in a big city why should it matter what I look like, no one is looking at me right? But I feel that everyone is. I can see judgement as I pass people on the street, I can feel eyes on me as they pass. That's why I love living in the land of endless sun, I can wear sunglasses and follow their eyes as they pass. I much prefer hiding away in my cave, hidden away from the world. I explore the world through the window of my computer. Don't make me go outside. Please. I make excuses, I insist it's someone else's fault. My breathing starts to speed up, it kinda scares me. I can feel the tears well up in my eyes. My nostrils flair in an effort to hold back the tears. What difference does it make if I cry? I'm alone, who'll see my weakness. I wish I could walk out that door. My head held high. But I can't.