Hello old friend, I have missed you! I know you don't believe me, I've said it before, but I have truly missed you and to you dear friend I will tell you the truth. Fear has taken over me. Dreams and thoughts of childhood are burried deep inside my head, hidden behind a dark cloud that has enveloped me for quite some time. It has sucked the nerve right out of me. I need to blame something because it couldn't surely be my fault. Something else outside of me has got to be the cause, because why would anyone do this to themselves on purpose. Cut themselves off from the rest of the world, their true wants and dreams, why? I turn to my other old friend for solice. He lets me watch whatever I want and sits with me as we watch the same old movies time and time again or the pointless reality shows that seem to be on ever channel. He lets me cry as we sit on the couch, munching on whatever junkfood there is, never asking a question because he knows she knows the answer. We sit in silence, each knowing and sensing the fear, but he never nudges, never speaks.
I watch the stories of dreams play out before me, sensing the cloud hovering, why can't I find my umbrella to shield me from the coming rain. I just prefer to stand waiting for the rain. Will it wash all the pain away? Or will it follow me where ever I go, constantly dousing me in a shower of unhappiness?