Tuesday, January 12, 2010

a pow wow

I used to spend my summers going to pow wow almost every weekend. My mom was into making baskets and pottery, and she thought this was the best way to sell her stuff. She would pack my brother and I into the family van and we were off.
There was this one summer we spent a whole month, traveling from pow wow to pow wow. There was this one time it was on an island, and the only way we could get there was this barge that you would drive your car onto. It would only take one car at a time. I remember the guy was telling my mom to back up, but we were on the barge and it moving forward already. My mom forgot this and we almost back right off the barge. My brother was just tiny at the time, still in diapers. I'd help set up the booth, unpacking and unwrapping all the different sized pots and vases my mom had made.
To escape the boredom, I would take my brother and we would walk around the grounds looking at all the other vendor booths.
At the time I though it was the worst summer ever, but now looking back, whenever I look at a piece of pottery or quill basket, I remember my indian summer. But that doesn't make someone indian! Anyone can spin a pottery wheel and read a book about

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The face...

When I close my eyes, I can see him like it was yesterday. His face brings me comfort and a slight smile to my face and I don't want to open my eyes. I miss him. I see us, we're married. He's sitting at the table on the covered porch, having a beer looking out over the lake. He's green eyes crinkled at the corner.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

What makes an indian?

What defines an indian if it's not in the blood? Blood quantum was used for census purposes by europeans, then also used by the government to determine how savage you were or not. For example, if my dad is full blood and my mom is 3/4, you add those, then divide in two and you get what I would be. You can vote to be how indian you are, one example was is in Oklahoma where one tribe voted that whomever is on the roll right now, now has 4/4, even if they were listed as less before. Blood quantum doesn't make a difference,
You're preserving a culture that's being threatened all the time, by enforcing a blood quantum.
At what point do you you say you're a descendant and not an actual indian.
Family makes you indian? Adoption? if your indian community accepts you, since they have placed.

More random 9/18/09

Years of marriage felt like just a drop in the bucket, but she couldn't understand why she hated him so much. All of a sudden she understood how and why people would consider having an affair. As much as she wants to have sex, she can't imagine having it with him without crying. I miss the way we used to kiss. Sloppy, messy, when was the last time they kissed like that, when it was more than a peck. When was the last time he brushed the hair from my face. On the rare occasion that they would sex, she needs to be drunk to lose her inhibitions, as well as her urge to cry during sex.

Random 9/18/09


She stood behind him as they both looked out to the group that was scattered at the picnic tables.  She resisted the urge to run her fingers thru his black wavy hair.
He turned as if sensing her urge, stood up to face her and without hesitation kissed her.  Although in shock by the sudden kiss, she leaned into him and closed her eyes.  As if sensing her anxiousness, he stopped, his face flush, and still holding her face in his hands, asked "so since you'll be alone tonight, why not come over and I'll keep you company?"  Taking a breath, in an attempt to compose herself, but she couldn't stop smiling, tried to play coy.  "I'll think aboiut it".  His full lips reached to her again as he pulled away "Ok, think about that"  and turned back to the picknic table.  Her head was spinning.  What had just happened?