Wednesday, June 3, 2009

My head

Is everyone like this? A constant battle in their head about their place in the world? For several years now I have been trying to write my epic tale. I don't use the word epic in an attempt to scare myself, I've just always the liked the word, it makes it sound important and maybe that's all it is, my one person show, my attempt to feel important in the world. Kinda sad and pathetic really?
I was fine and happy with myself before I moved to the world of make-believe. But it's something I've always wanted since I was little.
Make-believe, pretending to be someone else, I guess that's the point, you're never really yourself.

As I look back and try to remember earth shattering events from my life, which I suck at by the way, I am finding myself gravitating towards certain ages. 8 when my parent's got married, 12 or 13 when my brother was born and I started my rebellion against authority and the world, 16 is next and I think that's where I stop. I haven't aged since then. At 16 I was on top of the world, I had just gotten my drivers license, my first ticket, days after getting my drivers license, captain of the volleyball team, a monster at the net. I'm not sure if I was cool or not, I think I was, I usually am, though I make friends with everyone and everyone liked me, I went to all the parties, knew everyone. It's funny looking back now and trying to recall what you talked about with these people..