Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Figuring it out

OK, I've figured it out, it's all about labeling. Everyone here in Hollywood feels the need to label the other, I guess there is a need and it makes sense because nothing would get cast without it (insert example of breakdown). Prior to moving to Los Angeles I was indian, I was born indian and will die indian (what is it to die indian, if she's not indian what is she?), unlike citizenship it cannot be renounced, although I do it all the time. I renounce my indianess out of shame of the actions of some and out of embarrassment for my own (what is my embarrassment)
I'm OK with it, with being indian, I just never felt the need to justify it constantly like I do here in Hollywood.
I think my official rebellion began the day I chopped off my hair. Let's back-track, you see growing up in a small town, not on a reservation, I never had long hair. I was the little boy my parent's didn't have (what's the lie, what's the truth). Much to the chagrin of my mother the longest my hair got was the buster brown style of the time, it's ends tickling my earlobes at most.
I was a tomboy, playing softball and other sports, though I slipped in an occasional figure skating or gymnastic class, why I'm not sure. Perhaps they were more prevalent in the media and it was more accepted.
(Where is she with her hair? did it meet her expectations? Does she trot out her Indian or does she refuse? What if the labelling was reversed?)