Thursday, December 4, 2008

Blockhead

The year is ending and I wonder where the time has gone. It is already December, I have now been on my own since October of last year, July if I was truly honest with myself. I had tons of hopes and dreams, and a lot of big talk of the things I would do, but here I sit, on my couch eating bonbons (figuratively of course). I have been wanting to write the extravaganza for years now. My first thoughts were so I could stick it to them, you know to show those wannabees what a real indian is. There in was my dilemma, how could I chastise these people who knew more than I did and so wanted to be a part of a group that I was already a member of. I didn't want these white people reducing what I am. It's bad enough whenever you turn on the television, or a new movie comes out about us, we're still wearing buckskin and roaming the open plains, or the movie is set in modern times, yet unrelatable to the rest of the world and it gets limited play. As a child I wanted to show where indians are form and what their world is like. As a child, there was nothing really indian about my life. It was pretty regular. Sure I was the brown little smiling face in all of the school photos. What do you expect, not a lot of my people speak french. Here I was surrounded by these white little faces. The innocence of childhood, no one cares what colour you are a kid.

When I walk into an "indian" event I see a rainbow of people who call themselves indian, from the whitest white to the darkest brown. We're not like other cultures or ethnic groups, we come from a variety of backgrounds, different tribes, heck my people's land is North America. To me indians are brown, I mean it's only fair right? Why should these snowflakes be allowed to call themselves indian? They can walk through the world un-noticed, un-bothered, people may wonder what their background is, but never have the nerve to vocalize it. I am darker, even though a friend told me I wasn't "that dark", I'd like to think I'm a nice latte colour, and because of the region I live in when there are other brown people around and they need help, they look to me and say something. I wish I could help them, really I do, but why do they assume I am like them? I'm not, just because you're brown, I'm brown doesn't mean we share anything